I was and still am disappointed. Spent the rest of the weekend in my cave watching Lifetime movies with my cats. Really. I've been going to shows since 92 and for the past 15 years it has been hard to make them. I travel for work Wed-Sun and there isn't much time to travel to a show and when there is time I get a guilt trip from my husband. He doesn't like the band and when I tell him I'm going solo he insists on coming, yet plays the Debbie Downer every time and ruins it for me, so lately I just don't bring it up. When Phish does a festival, I can work it, which I was last weekend, so excited to feel the feeling I forgot, to relive a simpler life and run into people I haven't seen in a long time, especially my tour buddy from the 90s who still holds a tender and special place in my heart. My buddy and Phish have change the trajectory of my life and I wanted desperately that find that inspiration, joy, and pure love back, if only for a weekend, and doing something else just wouldn't cut it.
When my father died, I couldn't dance at a show for months. When my husband got sick, it took the last light out of my heart. This weekend was so much more than a festival to me. I was ready to be a Phoenix rising from the ashes and be reborn. I have alot of regrets in life and this was going to be the weekend to let go. I'm allowed to mourn and let go in my own time.